Put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe.
That is too much power for one human being
"Mom can I say grace before dinner"
*raps Nicki’s entire verse from Monster*
today’s date is 11/12/13 and that is very satisfying to me
you mean 12/11/13
CAN I GET A HELL YEAH IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH SLEEP
*yawn* hell yeah
do u ever get like water hungry…
kinda want 2 die kinda want 2 make out
i was cuddling this guy once n he had his head on my chest n just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “netflix” becus i was thinkin about netflix and he just went
"oh. your heart sped up and i… ok"
Possibly the funniest moment of my childhood.
“sir, what you did is so illegal that it loops around and now you’re the cop and i’m under arrest. here’s your badge welcome to the force”
daisy im pretty sure thats cheating
the scary thing about dating is that you are either going to marry that person or break up
deep thoughts from an anus